Monday, July 15, 2013

I failed. I took hundreds and hundreds of 6 different kinds of meds, but I still failed. And now I'm in a hospital bed, in a strange country where I am just ashamed and alone and a failure at one more thing. I will spend my 21st birthday (tomorrow) in this hospital bed and I will cry in shame and guilt at my own pathetic-ness.


  1. I love you. I know you know the rest.

  2. I'm so glad to know you're still here. Don't forget how much I love you.
    You're in my thoughts dear <3 xxxx

  3. and im glad you've failed
    you're here for a reason honey
    and im sorry that you had to spend your 21st in a hospital
    im sorry that you had to feel any of this
    I love you
    i'm sorry that this had to happen to you. but i'm hoping that you'll get better, okay? you're in my thoughts constantly. I've been worried since last post.
    take care of yourself, beautiful. please. please try.
    the world would be a dimmer place without you, you realise.


    -Sam Lupin

  4. I'm glad to hear your still alive hunn. The world needs more women like you and even though you can't see it now as all your perfectionist self is seeing is failure, someday you will be glad to admit this failure.

    Stay strong hunn, hopefully the hospital can get you help to clear the fog you are in.

    Lots of love and positive thoughts your way and hoping you can still manage to have a decent day tomorrow. (Don't worry too much about not celebrating, think of how it will be soo much more fun to celebrate your mood improving and your birthday all at once)


  5. this was by no means a failure. i'm really glad you're still around. try not to feel too ashamed about it. it's part of life for some of us. we all love you.