Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Still in Singapore, I was released from the hospital about a week ago. To say that I have been struggling would be an understatement. Things are not going well, each day is an uphill battle. Tonight, I miss my beautiful Nonno. So much. I am just dead inside.
For those of you who don't know, I got a pretty big rib tattoo in his honour shortly after his passing. Here is a picture (I know, I'm huge, please don't point it out. You can think it quietly in your heads, but please don't say anything. If it's any consolation, I have lost about 10lbs due to my hospitalization. It has also left me very tired and weak and unable to sleep more than an hour per night).

I had my final hospital visit in this country today. It went fine, had to meet a shrink, then the medical doc. My liver and muscle enzymes have all normalized. Everyone is incredibly impressed by the extreme recovery I have made. I am impressed too, definitely never imagined that my body would be so resilient. As grateful as I know that I am expected to be, I'm just not feeling it. I really wanted to die.

Thank you all for your lovely comments. I have been reading them as well as your blogs. I still need a break from this world though. Just need some time. I just wanted to share these pictures with you. The top one was taken a few short months before his death. He was so lovely.

You are all in my thoughts and I hope that you are doing well.

All my love,
Lena xx


  1. I'm so happy to hear you are fighting it! I know its a hard battle and I would much rather you not have to fight at all and be well.

    I send you all my positive vibes and you are in my thoughts hunn.

    Take care of yourself and stay safe.

    The tattoo is absolutely lovely and your Nonno looks like he was the kindest of men. It brought a tears to my eyes seeing him, as I too have lost both my Grandpapas in the last year .

    Love and positive thoughts,

  2. What a beautiful photo. Your Nonno looks so happy.

    I'm glad to hear your body's made a good recovery. I know you mightn't be, but there's lots of us who are grateful you're still here.

    That is one impressive tattoo. Did I see somewhere on FB that it was your first?!

    Take all the time you need dear. Know you're never far from my thoughts. Sending you love and a bear hug <3 xxxx

  3. yes your Nonno looks so happy
    I think i'm just about to tear up a bit
    you also look so beautiful can't imagine how a girl as b eautiful as that will be in so much pain
    you aren't huge I don't think so never will
    and let me just read it
    oh no I don't speak Spanish sfstwtwyhwsgq
    you know what makes me smile
    'wanted' as in in the past. I hope it stays there for a while. you are a lovely girl x you're not meant to die. if that isn't what the amazing recovery your body has made means then I don't know what it does
    take as much time as you need
    just breathe in my love
    take it all in. the world will be beautiful again one day.

    -Sam Lupin