Sunday, April 14, 2013

My own cinema

What can I do
If I don't feel
Anything
At all?

Hollow emptiness
Old friend
Filling my chest
Pressing down

I can't breathe.

What am I supposed to do?
Where do I go now?
Old friends forsaken
New ones gone

Black and white images
In my mind
Replaying old scenes
Over and over 
Again

Relentless hollowness
Replacing what should be pain
There is no pain
There is nothing

I have nothing left

Creating my own cinema
A new scenario
In my mind
Of ways to die
My very own
Happy ending

Circling thoughts
Infinite

How do you escape
When they are all that you are
And all that you have left?
How do you evade
The only thing you truly want?
My wants are selfish.

When can I wave
My own white flag
And make it all
Disappear?

There is no rest.

There is no reprieve.

There is no relief.

The shallow ache
Will never go away.

2 comments:

  1. I really like this poem and I know how hard right now is for you hun. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Don't forget that I love you.

    <3

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  2. This is so sad, but it's written beautifully. You're in my thoughts sweetheart. *hugs* xx

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