Officially lost 1 more pound from my "pre-period weight". This tips the scale (oh, the pun) and leaves me below a BMI of 23. So I now have a BMI in the 22s :) It also leaves me 2lbs away from the weight I was at after my hospitalization in Singapore. Then, I had lost about 12lbs in 10 days, mostly muscle mass, and was very weak. Now, I've been eating clean and healthy, keeping my calories in a healthy range, and running 3-5 times per week. This is the right way to do it. I mean, I'm still throwing up sometimes, but it's only a few times per week now, and I honestly think there is something physiologically wrong with me, more than just the ED making me sick. This also leaves me 7lbs away from the LW I hit last December, and 20lbs away from where I'd like to be (though I may want to lose another 8lbs after that, but let's take it one step at a time. I honestly don't know if I have the frame to get there). Slowly but surely, I'll make it. What I've realized is that I'm in no hurry. Sure, I'd like to get there ASAP, but I'd also rather not constantly be bouncing up and down, so I think that slowly is the way to go. I can be patient, right?
In other news, I'm leaving on my roadtrip with Dan in a few hours. Still need to pack and everything. I wanted to go for a run, but there are construction guys redoing our driveway so there's a huge hole in front of the house that I don't really feel like crawling through and embarrassing myself in front of all of them... So I guess I won't go. There probably isn't enough time anyways. I'm extremely anxious about this mini-trip for a bunch of reason, including food, meeting tons of new people/his closest friends, potentially meeting his brother, driving for 6 hours straight there and back, food (again), parties, them smoking up (I don't do weed), them drinking (I don't like who I become when I'm drunk), Dan wanting to stay up all night to party (I can't afford to do that since I have developed a very precarious sleep cycle that is just keeping me from having insomnia every single night and I don't want to ruin it with staying up and waking up late), the TONS of studying that I have to do since my exam is in a week and a half and I have about 150 hours of lectures to review before then (fml), frolicking... Oh, and did I mention food and meeting new people? Ugggh. I know, I sound like a boring old lady, but, seriously. I have finally found some form of (precarious) balance in my life, I don't feel like ruining it all this weekend. But I told him that he can do whatever he wants, I won't at all hold him back, but I may just head back home on my own when I'm tired.I just need to be brave enough to tell him when I need to go.
Ok. It will all be ok. Right? Right.
Have a great weekend, my dears (where did the week go??). And be kind to yourselves.
All my love,