Sleep's been terrible, mood's been terrible, studying's been terrible.
Only gotten through 6/50 lectures, not to mention the 22 Small Groups that I have to review.
It's Thursday night, my exam is on Wednesday.
I'm so screwed.
Keep thinking about bad things.
Keep missing/wanting to text D.
Dan came out to study with me tonight, God bless him.
He's being super supportive.
We may be about to get serious again.
We talked about it a little when we got back from our road trip (which I've been meaning to give a proper update about, but haven't had the chance).
I think I may also be starting to fall for him.
Which is weird because I just don't do that.
I think he may be starting to fall for me too.
He kind of keeps dropping the L-word in weird/semi-joking contexts.
Weight-wise, been basically feeling sick/throwing up every single thing I eat, so I have no idea what my calorie count is at.
Lost 2lbs between yesterday and today, but I'm pretty sure I'm just dehydrated from vomiting and running.
Also, cancelled the shrink appointment I was supposed to have today because I didn't feel like spending 3 hours in transit just to go talk to him for an hour.
I kind of feel like tons of people (docs, shrinks) just want to pick at my brain like I'm some interesting creature to study because I was "sick" this summer (yes, that's the euphemism I've been using because I have trouble saying the real words).
I mean, I'm all for science, but it's a bit much when you become the research project.
So that's sort of how I feel with mister shrinky-man.
I should stop now and go to bed.
God knows that I have so much to do tomorrow.
Including randomly going to school to do a mock patient interview.
Whoever scheduled this was really stupid.
Don't worry about me, girlies, I'm doing fine.
Just a bit of a drop.
I guess it was overly optimistic to think that I was magically cured.
I was kind of expecting this.
I'm sure things will get better soon, that this is just the sleep-deprivation from the trip talking.
Sorry for this floundering, incredibly random, stream-of-consciousness post.
I'll stop now.
All my love,
Lena xx
sorry about the sleep/mood/studying
ReplyDeletefuck. i would just about die if i got through 6/50 lectures i might cry
:( aw no i'm sorry to hear that. actually am sorry to hear that. that's horrid.
i just hope you feel better. you sound tired from the post. i dont know how but i just feel like you are.
i hope you get a bit of rest soon enough from after the exam (which i somehow hope is easy).
you really deserve to sleep at least. just diffuse all the daily tension.
~Sam Lupin
Aw, I'm glad to hear you and Dan are working things out. It's just good to know there's someone there supporting you.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with your exam next week. You have such a big workload, I don't know how your brain's still functioning at all, especially on so little sleep.
P.S, I'll definitely let y'all know med the GP puts me on. Earlier this year I was on Paroxetine alongside Mirtazapine, but if anything that sent me spiraling lower. Merp.
Thinking of you dear. I hope everything starts looking a little brighter soon *hugs* xx