So today was a good and bad day. Food was bad. Very bad. Last night, the boyfriend made me matzo ball soup and latke. So just under 1000cal for yesterday, I think. I love it when he cooks for me. I feel so spoiled. But I hate eating it. And then I just want to throw up, but I feel guilty because I know that he worked hard to make it for me and I don't want him to notice. So I didn't throw up. Neither did I sleep, but that was to be expected as I never really sleep at his place. Plus his roommate started banging things around at 7am. Who makes that much noise at 7 on a Sunday morning? I'm so not a morning person, it's terrible. Mornings are the one time that I swear that I could commit murder. I think it's because it just takes me so long to fall asleep that I hate whoever wakes me up, especially when I'm not supposed to wake up yet. I just get so little sleep that it becomes so very precious.
Anyways, then, this morning, the food situation just went from bad to worse. My boyfriend made me a HUGE brunch: yogurt, orange-grapefruit juice, fruit salad, half a latke, cheese muffin and almond croissant. I died. I wanted to throw up so badly, I just felt so greasy. That's what happens when I eat too much: I just feel greasy somehow, inside and out. Then went to the apartment where my roommate made me have this Spanish dessert thing. And then she had a friend over who decided to take us out for souvlaki. So I had half a chicken kebab, half a side-order of Greek fries and half a side-order of Greek salad. Oh and two slices of garlic bread. And a diet coke. Then (I know, it never ends), I went to a friend's where I had chocolate-covered raisins and almonds and soy milk. But I got home and threw most of it up, thank god, a long with a part of dinner, I think. So I'd say that I'm under 2000cal. Which is incredibly too much, but at least I didn't go above the upper limit of what my intake can be based on my resting metabolism. Thank God. Throwing up chocolate is just the worst, though.Also haven't been able to weigh myself in ages as the scale is in my parents' room and I haven't had access to it/I haven't slept at home.
And now I can't sleep. I wanted to write about how I can't believe that it is already Christmas Eve and about what a disaster it will be this year, but I simply no longer have the energy. I also wanted to write about how my boyfriend's was good and bad yesterday and today. But thinking of all that food that I ingested has exhausted me. Guess I'll just wish whoever (if anyone) is reading this the very best for the Holidays. Hopefully they'll be better for you than for me.
Love,
E.
I just laufhed out loud so much! I finally trained the girl I take her shift from not to ask me how I am at 830 or even 9 in the morning. Coffee first and then we'll see where we're at haha. And I know what you mean! I always feel greasy too. It's not good that I gained weight in Greece but it's good I wasn't relapsing at that time because dear Lord the authentic food and wine there is good. I drank a lot of beer and had a lot of gyros and baklava and snails one time and fresh octopus. Soooo hard to pass up Greek food. I feel greasy too inside. Like butter. Like I need to literally unzip myself and walk out. Definitely similar girl!
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