Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Runner's high

I love that feeling. Ran today, 7.6k in 39min07sec. Not my best time or my best distance or my best anything. But it's my best distance since I started running on the track. And I did my little speed-walking there and back. And it's the only reason that I left the house today at all. So I'd say that it was important. If there's only one positive thing in your day, it becomes very important. I also walk incredibly fast, My shrink laughs and says that it's because I'm a Type A personality. My 6' boyfriend has to job next to me to keep up. And I tried to enter in in MyFitnessPal just now, and it doesn't even fall under "walking". It falls under "running". I mapped and calculated it, and I walk at about 5.3MPH (8.6k/h). I know, right? Insanity, haha... I also did 500 crunches at the track. So, all-in-all, even though I'm still a waste of space, at least I tried to do something about it today. And it kind of paid off since, even though I ate waaay too much today, my net is at 325 for the day. Finally a good day. Yesterday's net was 769.  I don't have a scale to weigh myself, but at least I know for sure that I can't be gaining with these sorts of intakes. 

My super-duper plan for this week also majorly failed. I was too embarrassed to post about it, but I'm still trying, still keeping starting over and trying not to give up entirely. I'm exhausted, but I know I'll get there. I got my grades back from my last Unit and, though they weren't great, they weren't any worse than anything I've gotten this year so far (which is seriously below what I'm used to, but at least it didn't go down last Unit in spite of my having a lot of trouble getting through it). I passed everything, which is a miracle in and of itself; I didn't think I would pass the histology and anatomy portions, but I did. So that's a relief. Every time I get my marks back, I'm relieved. I used to be excited because I would know that I did really well; now I just want to pass. It's all I need and it's all that I can offer. I'm not in danger-zone, I'm safe, my marks aren't great, but they're getting me where they need to. So it's ok. Every time proves to me that I'll get through the next one too. So, just as I got through Units 1, 2, 3 and 4, I will get through Unit 5.

Finally, I just want to say how lucky I feel to have you supporting me. I mean, you don't know me, you aren't obliged to comment or to write, but you do, which I truly appreciate so much.

Sweet dreams :)
Lena xx

4 comments:

  1. I'm also lucky to have your support as well dear. I'm glad you're getting by and note to self, never run with you. :P
    <3

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    1. Hahaha, yeah, my boyfriend wants to run with me, but I've told him that running is "me time". I kind of need to suffer/be exhilarated alone :)

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  2. Oh man, I miss my runner's highs so much. I used to love running, but stopped back in October-ish and haven't been able to get back to it.
    I feel lucky to have the support I get on here too. No one ever has to read or comment, but it's nice to feel the love :) xx

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    1. I know, I've just read through October, sorry to hear that you haven't taken it back up. I understand why though, I'm pretty "muscular" and it drives me insane.
      Take care girlie xx

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